Large holes in reality, dubbed "dead zones" by astrophysicists, are beginning to crop up around town and other parts of the country, bringing dangerous interdimensional entities with them. Some of these dead zones are enveloping entire towns and many appear to be growing in size. Police officers are stringing up "Do Not Enter" tape around them and running away. Some particularly pessimistic scientists hypothesize that the fabric of reality is wearing down to nothing and soon all dimensions will collapse into each other, leaving everyone in a nonsensical hellscape as eldritch horrors fight for dominance in this absolute dimension. Other scientists encourage citizens to walk into these exciting, likely lethal new additions to the multiverse as we know it, "just to see what happens" • Helston High Wombats make semifinals • That about covers it I think • I wonder if anyone's still bothering to read this...maybe I should just...I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!